Parenting Question
of the Week
Question 10: Fear of Hurricanes
Question: My 6-year-old son has suddenly become afraid of hurricanes. He talks about them happening not only when it is stormy but also when the weather seems fine. Why would he suddenly become afraid and how can I help him to stop feeling so worried?
Answer: Your son's fear of hurricanes may be a reflection of things he has recently heard or seen about hurricanes. It is also likely to be something that other children his age are also experiencing. Children have common fears at different developmental stages. For example, infants often fear strangers and loud noises; toddlers may experience fear when separated from a parent; preschoolers frequently fear monsters and the dark. In later preschool years (3-5 years) and early elementary school children may begin to fear things that can threaten their well-being - uncontrollable events such as hurricanes are an example.
Children also show fear because of something they have experienced or observed. For example, a child may show a fear of bees after he has experienced a painful sting. Even if your child has not personally experienced a hurricane, with the anniversary of Hurricane Katrina and the recent focus on tropical storms and potential hurricanes during our current hurricane season, talk of hurricanes and the destruction they bring with them is everywhere. Although parents may try to monitor their children from what they see on television, children are bombarded with information from multiple sources every day. In addition to the television, they may be hearing things from the radio, school and their friends. They can develop a fear if they hear their peers or adults discussing feeling afraid of hurricanes or showing fearful reactions during storms. It is an unrealistic expectation to completely protect our children from exposure to potentially scary experiences. We can however teach our children how to deal with their fear.
Talk with your child about his fear. Find out what it is that he is afraid of, for example, is it loud thunder, ideas of how windy it will be, flooding, fear that he won't be somewhere safe, fear that your family will get hurt? Let him know that you understand that he feels frightened and that adults sometimes feel scared at times too. Talk to him about what you did when you felt scared as a child. You can also share the following coping strategies suggested by Dr. Matthew Sanders, creator of the Triple P - Positive Parenting Program:
- Deep breathing - have your child imagine that his belly is a balloon that he fills slowly when he breathes in and then deflates as he breathes out.
- Relaxation - help your child to learn to go floppy like a rag doll when he feels scared.
- Using his imagination - when he feels scared encourage him to use his imagination to distract himself from scary thoughts. Brainstorm with him peaceful thoughts he can focus on that make him feel happy and relaxed, for example, a favorite vacation spot during a sunny day.
- Self-talk - help your child find things he can say to himself to help him feel calmer and in control like, "It's just a storm. It will stop. Things will be fine. I am in a safe place."
Emotionally, your child needs to feel safe. Hurricanes may seem particularly scary because they are not something that can be controlled or predicted. Something you can do to create stability and predictability in other aspects of his life is to create regular everyday routines. This includes things like morning, after school, meals and bedtime routines. It may also be comforting to your child to set up a routine for when storms do occur. For example, if you are in an area that is likely to experience hurricanes you may have designated an area of your house to go to and supplies to take with you when a hurricane is predicted. You can have your child help you gather supplies in preparation (prior to a storm) so that he knows that you have a plan if a hurricane or bad storm were to occur. Your child may want to choose a special toy to take with him during bad storms or you may have favorite stories that can help create distractions. Let him know that you will have time to prepare if a hurricane were to occur and that they do not suddenly occur without warning.
Living in an unpredictable and often confusing world can be scary for child. The "War on Terror" is something else that children may be hearing a lot about. Parents may be hearing questions from their child about terrorist attacks and the war. Look to future columns for ways to respond to these types of questions.
About the authors:
Cheri Shapiro, PhD, is a Research Assistant Professor in
the Department of Psychology and the Project Director for Building Connections,
a federal grant program through the University of South Carolina that provides
Triple P - Positive Parenting Program training and parenting information
to select South Carolina counties. Alexandra Seng, MA,
is trained in Triple P. Find local providers
here.
